It Always Turns

For the first time in years, I’m considering inviting another person to this blog. Mainly so I can deliver comedic relief at their expense.  I played, and then began watching sports a long time ago. It’s been fun, but I have to say there are three things you have to remember as a fan … a quality fan, not the bandwagoner wearing his brand new Seahawks jersey or the guy in his brand new Broncos #18 jersey thinking he has room to talk about brand new Seahawks fan. Anyway, here are the three things:

1) Stick with your team, in good times and bad

2) Don’t celebrate before its over

3) What goes around, comes around – it always turns

So yesterday, I’m working and one of my co-workers, a Bronkeys fan comes over, and another person … a guy who I don’t even know likes sports, much less football … stands there clapping while the Bronkeys fan gives me a certificate saying “Oakland Raiders” thanks for participating in the NFL.” Oh, how funny. What a pair of douches, what  scroatbags. I just stood there like “the only person who thinks you two are bigger f**king idiots than I do are yourselves.”

First off, the guy who found the thing, I didn’t even know he liked football. You know, the kind of guy who played flute in the band because his parents didn’t want him to play sports.

Now mind you, I didn’t give the Bronkeys fan a hard time even after the Donks suffered a humiliating loss in the Super Bowl. Well, one of their humiliations. The other guy, well, he’s just a laughingstock. It doesn’t matter because the one certainty in sports is, that thing is going to turn unfavorable for you. Take it from me, I know. If you think for one second, when I saw Marcus Allen breaking away from the Redskins on that 74-yard run in Super Bowl XVIII, that it would be 20 years before the Raiders would even make it back to the Super Bowl, and then play some of the worst football in league history over the next decade afterwards, you’re wrong.

I know it always turns.

Raiders are a threat to go 0-16. But it always turns. Lions did go 0-16, but now they are playing decent football, on top of their division. Hate to say it for Bronkeys fan, it always, always turns. One day you find your team with Kyle Orton as your starter, and they are absolutely horrible. For me, one week, Raiders pummeled the Bronkeys 59-14. later that year, some laughable quarterback named Tim Tebow beat the Raiders in a critical game. That was only four years ago. It always turns.

It could be as simple as Peyton Manning going down awkwardly after completing a pass. You saw our post with Victor Cruz. One minute he’s playing hard, the next, his season’s over.  Your ambition, the Super Bowl, your season is done. And then I’ll be there with a participation certificate. Never take your team’s success for granted.

Gloating in Week 8 is sure as hell not the time to act as if you’ve won a title.

It’s the NFL for heaven’s sake. It’s an acronym for “not for long.”  You don’t know what’s going to happen, or when it’s going to happen.


Posted in Bandwagoning, Douchetastic, Football, Fraudulent, Haterade, Homerism | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

What a Bummer!

Tell me you thought the San Francisco Giants were going to rebound from a 0-10 loss last night. Tell me you thought Madison Bumgarner was going to throw five innings of shutout ball in relief, on two days rest. Tell me you thought the Kansas City Royals weren’t going to do anything past the second inning.

Tell me you thought the Giants were going to the playoffs, much less World Series champions, when the Dodgers swept them three in a row in San Francisco in late July.

The San Francisco Giants are the World Series champions for the third time in five years. Tonight they defeated the Kansas City Royals, 3-2 in a classic. Bruce Bochy, having brought two teams to the World Series is now a certainty to go to the Hall of Fame as a manager. The MVP is … wait … Madison Bumgarner. What a stunner. Three wins, including that relief appearance for the ages. At first, Bumgarner wasn’t that sharp, but when he got zoned in, it was over. Check out the bootleg video before it gets pulled, where Bumgarner gets a pop-up with the tying run on third:

Grown men can act like that.

And when Bumgarner got those Colorado keys from the frumpy Chevrolet dude, it was the first time I even saw him crack half a smile.

As for the Royals, they were awesome as well. They played a great series. This game and series was a dogfight. Ned Yost,  the manager of the Royals, was gracious in defeat. He said what is so true in these games: A foot here, six inches there, the Royals win. They didn’t back down at all, they just didn’t have enough to win it.

Let’s hope the Royals cheapo ownership gets the message and retains their key guys instead of acting like a farm team.

Like we predicted earlier, the World Series was terrific. Great, clean baseball. Baseball is back, can’t wait till it starts up again.

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Voting. And (sigh), politics

Have you heard, there’s an election coming. Yes, another election. Groan.

I did vote, but I can’t think of a more worthless way to spend an hour. Sorry politico partisan folks, it’s true:

Voting doesn’t matter.

When I say it doesn’t matter, I know what I’m talking about. For instance, here in Texas, there’s going to be a statewide sweep by Republicans. Greg Abbott is going to be our next governor. I know this without even a single ballot having been counted. Here’s a little newsflash for you: In 2016, the Democratic candidate is going to win California. The Republican candidate is going to win Texas. You can write that down. Actually you don’t have to write it down. The only places genuinely holding elections are the 10 or so contested swing states. The rest are a joke, time wasters to make you think you participate in the democratic process.

Like there’s an ounce of difference between the parties. It’s essentially one-party rule in America, status quo. It’s just different people alternating to make the big money. Frankly, I find nothing wrong with that, other than the fact they force me to pay attention to them.

Anyone think there’s something weird about the last 10 Presidential candidates from the major parties, only two of them did not attend either Harvard or Yale (Robert Dole and John McCain)? I’m curious as to why that is, since there are other elite schools in America.

I get to listen to a lot of douchbags talk about this issue, or that problem being a big deal. But I’ve got overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Basically, if it doesn’t effect me, an issue doesn’t matter. I’ve still got to get up in the morning, put on my shoes (hopefully after my pants) and go to work. Regardless of the winning party.

Did I mention the most intensely partisan people are really stupid? I mean, if your outlook on society is decided by people you’ve never met, who think you as the average citizen are pretty stupid and can be influenced by TV ads and soundbites … you’re really stupid. And stupid is not a term bitter sports uses lightly.

We’ve discussed our hatred of politics here before. I figure, why not one more time for reinforcement’s sake? I’ll be glad (once again) when it’s over, except certain people start talking it right back up.

Politics suck. A job where the only thing you have to do is talk. Perfect for no-talent losers who have a giant ego but little else.

Posted in Bandwagoning, Bloviator, Celebrity Wannabe, Douchetastic, Fraudulent, Loser, Money, Ratings Ho | Tagged , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Baseball is back!

Haven’t seen that much about the World Series. Are you watching? ESPN doesn’t want you to, they are rolling with mid season college football as their lead stories. I guess that’s because Fox is broadcasting the Series.
Kansas City and San Francisco are locked in an epic struggle, with the series tied 2-2. Kansas City won the only close game, reclaiming home field in Game 3.
So it’s a best of three. Both teams can win on the road. Both teams can dominate at home. Both teams are well managed, and both can win this thing.
If you like baseball, you have to love this World Series.

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Why is ESPN even thinking about The Lakers?

Just saw on that The Lakers point guard, Steve Nash is out for the season. Heard Kobe saying it’s okay, since Nash tried everything he could to get on the court. The Steak says The Lakers are gonna be all right.

NO! No they are not, no matter how much ESPN wishes The Lakers weren’t hot garbage. You know, the old NBA … where bad teams would trade their 1st rounders to The Lakers or the Celtics in exchange for junk … is done. GM’s now lose their jobs for bad trades. Especially when it means enhancing one of the “big market” teams enroute. No more Jerry West “Pau Gasol for junk” trades.

The Lakers are going to win 30 – 35 games this year with Kobe playing. I’m amused there’s a movement in sports media to make them relevant again. A couple of days ago, I saw where ESPN was talking to Kobe in The Lakers practice.

I wonder if the Clippers are going to try and completely destroy The Lakers this season. You know with the national media going in the tank for The Lakers. Another 48-point loss to their cross-court rivals might inspire some changes in Lakerville. The only problem is, the kind of players they need aren’t coming to play with Kobe Bryant. You know, the guy on the first year of a two-year extension worth $48M.

Says here ESPN is encouraging  teams to load up and hammer The Lakers every chance they get.

Posted in Bandwagoning, Basketball, Bloviator, Fraudulent, Homerism, Sports Media Douchery | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Daniel Snyder’s Advice to Jerry Jones


Editor's Note: Suggesting Dan Snyder Is A Bullshitter Is Not As Libelous As Writing, "Dan Snyder Blows Dogs"

Photo from Deadspin.

What advice would one terrible owner have to another? Because you read this blog, you know the two men, despite the adversarial relationship between the fan bases, are friendly with each other. So what would Daniel Snyder offer Jerry Jones? Let Jones explain it:

“Well, he called me one time [when] we were having a tough time of it,” Jones recalled. “And he said ‘Now don’t take this wrong. You know how much I respect you.’ But he said ‘I’ve got some advice for you.’

“And I kind of rolled my eyes on the other end of the phone, thought well here goes. And he said ‘Drink a lot.’ ”

That is good advice. Jones didn’t say which poison Snyder recommended, but we can surmise that it was either Bud Light or Crown Royal.

Actually, we have it on good authority Jerry Jones prefers Johnnie Walker Blue Label. Anyway, Snyder ought to know a lot about losing. His team certainly has done enough of it. According to Deadspin — which has made multiple posts slamming Snyder — he has certain rituals:

Watching games from his private box, Snyder would cuss and second-guess plays, unblinkingly huffing past people. “You want to stay out of his way,” says Fox News Sunday anchor Chris Wallace, a frequent guest. After losses, Snyder would stay until 4 a.m., pounding drinks, downing burgers and pizza and blaming himself for being, in the words of a friend, “his own worst enemy.”

Ha, ha. Snyder his own worst enemy? Join the club. Talk about the franchise name. Snyder certainly has done more damage to the team than simply keeping the name.



Posted in Celebrity Wannabe, Douchetastic, Drink, Entertainment, Money, NFL | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Combat, Cheaters-style

Thank goodness another season of Cheaters is here for us to, uh, evaluate. We wouldn’t have something as terrific as Tommy Grand or Joey Greco coming back, but it’s still highly entertaining.

Tonight, our DVRed show had an old guy getting dumped on by his much younger girlfriend, “Pinky.” She stated without shame she was using him while her boyfriend was in prison, she didn’t love him and she didn’t want him.

If your chick is 30 years younger than you, you look like hell, you have to take a pill to get it up and you don’t have big $$$, forget it. It’s not love. You are being used. It depends on whether you like it or not.

The second episode, the woman spying on her boyfriend finds him with a skripper in a gentleman’s club. He tells the woman it’s over, and it’s been over for years. The skripper claims no knowledge of her, but the boyfriend said he told her all along.

Good stuff, and we’re glad Cheaters is back for Season 15. BSP proudly states we’ve been there damn near from the beginning.

Posted in Celebrity Wannabe, Cheaters, Douchetastic, Entertainment, Fisticuffs, Ratings Ho, Trash TV | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment