Struggling with Depression

I am taking a break from writing about fun stuff like failed relationships, RVing, reality TV and my hatred of the Pittsburgh Penguins. I’m going to discuss my life a bit and a one-time battle I had with what I figure is depression. I’m going to tell you what I believed triggered it, what happened while I was fully into it and what got me out of it.

I had a telephone discussion with an ex. Mistake because she blames me leaving her for the misery she finds herself in these days. In fact, she finds great pleasure in letting me know all the crap she’s been through is not a result of her refusal to work full time like us savages, but due to the lack of support I gave her. Ok. Normally that wouldn’t  bother me, but this session was different. She blamed me for her not having any children. She told me she wanted to have three children and now she’s too old to have any (she is).

That made me feel bad. Then I thought sticking around her essentially ended my family line. She didn’t say so, but getting pregnant would have been difficult for her. And the fact of the matter is if she truly wanted to have a kid, we would have. Bottom line, you generally start kids with intercourse, and we weren’t having it. At least not with each other.

Anyway, I thought more about it until I could barely do anything. I would go to work, come home and get right into bed. I would lay there and let these “waves of blue” crash into me. Only after talking to a friend did I realize what was happening. She suggested I go see a therapist, which I did not. I was barely functioning but hardly anyone knew.

What got me through it? My cats. I did not always like cats. In fact, I never wanted to be around them. My cats took care of me. One of our cats would curl up next to me while I was in the fetal position. He would sleep next to me and purr. Our other cat, the anti social one, soon became much more friendly. Before long, both of them would come upstairs, get next to me and purr while my life was going into the tank.

Thats why I’m going to cry like a baby when my cats go. I really really owe them.

What snapped me out? Nothing in particular except a desire to get out of the pity party. I did. It was time to stop feeling sorry for myself and start doing something.

Not everyone can do that. Hardly anyone can do that. It’s very hard. Depression is a mo—- f—-r. It can hurt you badly.

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Dallas

The shooter in Dallas is dead, per Reuters. 

We will find out there was one shooter, no bombs, and a killer with no ties to terrorism or black lives matter.

This week, which started with a celebration of America’s birth, ends with multiple embarrassments for the country.

Let’s start with firearm use:

A man has a broken tailight and ends up dead, while legally carrying a firearm.

Several good guys with a gun got killed by a bad guy with a gun last night.

I hate to say it, but there’s a lack of respect for life in general in our country today. 

When is there going to be a national conversation about the way we treat each other? Forget about guns, they are just another way we shit on each other. We treat each other like garbage.

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Catfish: The TV Show

I’m down with back problems. I can barely move without my fantastic medications, so I’m lying in bed. The Cat walks by and steps on the remote. 

Here comes “Catfish: The TV Show.” I’m figuring this has got to be gold, so I’m watching this mess. This catfish story is about a woman named Kenyonnah who thinks she’s met the rapper Bow Wow. This alleged Bow Wow is messaging her back and forth, but can’t get video to work for some reason. Not only that, this person has sent her $10,000. She now wants to find out who the person is, so she calls in the catfish crew.

First off, who gives a damn whether they are real or not? He/she/it has sent you $10,000! Let them keep sending you money, you don’t have to give up your (body) and you want to know if they are real? As long as the money is real, who cares?

Don’t people go to school anymore? This Kenyonnah must be Texas-educated, where they want to teach your kids straight out of the Bible and remain ignorant about everything else. She must not have parents either, because my mom would have knocked some sense into me. My dad would have laughed at me … until the money came in. Either way, it’s ridiculous. It’s entertainment. Without doubt, it’s some chick trying to talk to this girl Kenyonnah. 

Too funny, Kenyonnah (who by the way is a part time model and is kind of hot) herself says “who in their right mind would send someone this kind of money?” Yes, their right mind. It can’t be true. A plane ticket and concert ticket would be cheaper. 

What I find interesting is the method by which they do research. They not only use the Internet, they use their resources at MTV to uncover whether these connections in the entertainment industry are real. They tell the girl and she’s crying. She thought she had found true love with a rapper nicknamed Bow Wow over the Internet. WTF is wrong with her?

I’m like oh, too bad. You only have $10,000 to fall back on. Usually in the catfish business, she’d have sent the catfish $10,000 and be broke AF. 

You know, if I didn’t work with the military, I’d have no idea of what young people do to each other. 

This is kind of cool. The catfish says to meet them in Atlanta. They drive from North Carolina, where Keyonnah lives. It’s not a crappy neighborhood that Bow Wow’s alleged cousin lives in, either. 

Surprise, but it’s not Bow Wow. It’s a boy-like female. A rapper named “Dee Pimpin.”  Keyonnah is freaking out. The voice she heard was the boy-like girl’s cousin. The interesting thing is, the female is looking like a dude. In fact, the female is saying she’s been with other women who think she IS a dude. Keyonnah is crushed.

You are thinking “no way.” But the crew and Keyonnah are on their way back to Dee Pimpin’s place. They are actually talking civil to each other.

I bet myself a dollar that this Keyonnah ends up with this Dee character. Hah, Keyonnah already said they can work on a friendship. Meaning after this show ends, keep sending cash. Dee Pimpin is thinking there’s always a chance. Sexuality is fluid, except for men.

Posted in Celebrity Wannabe, Douchery, Entertainment, Fraudulent, Money, Ratings Ho, Trash TV | Tagged , , , , | 1 Comment

The Warriors can (and probably will) Win the Title

It’s now down to Game Seven in the NBA Finals. The Cavaliers routed the Warriors in Game Six, 115-101. 

The Warriors season where they won more games than any other team in league history has come down to this.

We were pulling for the Cavaliers, because of the ridiculous hype behind the Warriors. People talking nonsense like the Warriors were the best team ever. No. The Warriors are the best team in the NBA, and will likely win the title. The great thing is their record does say who they are.

The Warriors are 7-6 in their last 13 games. They have lost nearly as many games in these playoffs as they did in their vaunted regular season. This as much as anything says the NBA, in general, is a terrible product. We at BSP HQ have said for years the NBA lacks competitive balance. The one thing the league does is, show streakiness. If this game was happening early in the season, the series would have ended with a Golden State sweep. It means nothing with respect to these Finals. Another thought here: some players are totally out of sync in road games. A friend of mine says Harrison Barnes is on milk cartons.

We are thinking its Golden State. Then again, would you really want to go against LeBron James in a 1-game playoff? 

This is why Dan Gilbert took numerous face shots in bringing him back. The Cavaliers would become legendary much in the same way the New York Giants did when they beat the undefeated Patriots. If the Warriors win, it’s just relief.

Posted in Bandwagoning, Basketball, Cleveland Cavaliers, Douchery, Entertainment, sports, sports media, Sports Media Douchery | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Alaska Bush People

I used to want to believe it’s true. A family living off the grid and surviving in the wilds of Alaska.
Then I realized the show is total nonsense.
I watched Friday night’s show to tie it to Twitter. By the way, if you view #AlaskaBushPeople on Twitter, you’ll have a stream of hater tweets. It’s hilarious.
The hard-to-believe part  in tonights episode is watching the Browns destroy yet another vehicle, a motor home; then “barter” the “Alaskan way” to get a far superior RV  for 1 day’s worth of work.
Even more unrealistic are the 30+ year old men who live at home. BSP believes men do not want to live at home with their parents in close proximity to each other. The majority of men want to meet women and copulate with them … generally not in the vicinity of weirdos who want to stick with their brothers, sisters, parents and pets.
Where the hell did these guys get the crazy accents? Did the Browns live in Australia at some point?
Alaska Bush People: It is a lot of fun if you don’t take it seriously.

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30 for 30: The Juice

I so enjoyed the first installment of the “O.J. Simpson Made in America” series.

That dude had some wheels. The one thing I didn’t like was the short shrift they gave his NFL career. They made a big deal out of his 2003 rushing yards in 1973 because of the Jets. Imagine, ESPN so loves the Jets they made them part of a story where they should have been just a prop. His best year was probably the 1817 rushing yard season in 1975. He scored 23 TD’S that season. In four seasons in the middle of his career, he probably amassed some of the best seasons for a running back ever. Keep in mind those were 14-game seasons. Of course, that would have glorified the Juice, which is definitely not the goal of the series. The goal is to show the Juice was abusive to Nicole Brown and was guilty as hell of murdering her and Ron Goldman.

We at BSP already knew Juice murdered the two people. We do want to see if the series shows how Juice was made in America. Orenthal James Simpson came to believe he was his character, “The Juice.” He thought he was beyond reproach due to his image; his celebrity. We at BSP have seen thinking this way is a mistake, almost always. We have seen image overwhelm negative content only a couple of times before. This wasn’t one of those times. You can’t kill people and expect to remain free.

Sexual assault is a different story; only 13 of every 1,000 sexual assaults even goes to trial.

Anyway, Juice was also a noted SPAMMer for Hertz and Chevrolet, among others. In selling products, he presented himself as different. Non-threatening. The guy who could live next door to you.

O.J. Simpson clearly wasn’t race conscious, except in the fact he didn’t want to be considered “black.” It was bad for his image. He wasn’t until he murdered the two people. Then he became black in a hurry.

Understand this: everyone knew Juice was guilty as hell. Who else would have murdered his ex-wife? Johnnie Cochran knew Juice was guilty as hell. But Juice had become black to white persons who considered him non-threatening before, and black to black people who had been beaten down by the system for one reason or another.

You need to know this: While the jury took the blame for not convicting Juice, four persons were responsible for him walking: Barry Schenk, who made conclusive DNA evidence appear questionable – DNA showed Juice was the only person who ever lived who could have been involved with the crimes. Mark Fuhrman, a detective who lied on the stand about himself not being a racist, impeaching his testimony. Prosecutor Chris Darden, although being a fine lawyer, had Juice try on the gloves in the worst mistake of the trial. Finally, the cop who stopped Johnnie Cochran – then the Assistant DA for L.A. County – for “driving while black” with his daughters in the car. That unnecessary harrassment germinated a desire to embarrass the LAPD.

Juice beating the system became a victory for those black people whom he showed little interest in supporting. Meanwhile, Juice became AIDS to those white people who had put him up on a pedestal. He had betrayed them by defeating the system. He was going to pay one day, no matter what.

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Muhammad Ali, 1942-2016

Muhammad Ali, a fighter, passed last night. He used his fame as a fighter for social justice. Not just for me but for all of us.

I grew up during the 70’s when Muhammad Ali was still boxing. I will tell you he was what we today would call “divisive.” He threw the gold medal he won in 1960 at Rome into the Ohio River as a protest of sorts against overt racism. He converted to Islam at a time when it was considered radical. He was LOUD, articulate and one of the greatest prize fighters ever, a combination most Americans greeted with frustration. After he refused induction into the service, he was widely reviled. Despite these,  the one thing Muhammad Ali did, that no one — not even the U.S. government — could take away was his ability to get into that ring, fight and win. It is the starkest form of competition there is.

We don’t hear this much today, but Ali also split the black community. Many felt his position on civil rights was too forward, too much too soon. Some black Americans did not like how Ali promoted himself by portraying some of his opponents … other black prize fighters … as “Uncle Toms” who represented “going along to get along.” Those prize fighters viewed themselves as just prize fighters. We see that same division today, when we have basketball players like LeBron James who have occasionally made social justice stands, and Michael Jordan, who was and still is unwilling to do anything other than sell apparel.

As time moved on and people realized his positions aligned closer to reality, all segments of America revised their opinion of Ali. Americans began believing overt racism as wrong; entering the Vietnam War was a mistake and Islam  was viewed as less foreign. In my opinion, Ali’s rehabilitation was complete after he lit the torch at the 1996 Olympics in Atlanta. To me, the lighting of the torch rates as one of the great moments in American sports history; possibly the most famous Olympian ever coming full circle.

One of the media figures who gave Ali a platform for promotion was Howard Cosell. Cosell recognized Ali’s tactics for what they were … self-promotion and social awareness. While Ali was viewed with disdain, Cosell also received  vitriol for giving Ali that platform. Both of them told the American public things they didn’t want to hear.

For me, it’s interesting how people who represent The Establishment — sports and general media — today are praising Ali, while The Establishment of the 1960’s – 1970’s definitely had different views.

 

 

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