Amare Stoudamire Breaks Glass in Case of Emergency

One of my colleagues, the esteemed “Mr. Mc”requested a post on Amare Stoudamire. I previously wanted to write a post on my hatred of all things involving New York City sports. Due to the pain in the @$$ I’ve been for Mr. Mc, I’ll take on Amare Stoudamire by his lonesome.

Last night, Stoudamire saw his Knicks, enroute to getting swept, losing to the Miami Heat once again, this time 104-94. Down 0-2 in games and on his way back to the locker room, Stoudamire saw the sign:

“Break glass in case of emergency”

Stoudamire thinks, “Well, this is an emergency. Besides, our team sucks and has no chance to avoid getting swept.” So he goes ahead and punches the fire extinguisher box, causing a laceration on his hand. He is out for Game Three. Personally, we don’t blame him. I wouldn’t want to participate in the Heat’s ongoing destruction of the Knicks.

Amare Stoudamire is not the sharpest knife in the drawer. He took his talents to New York City’s basketball team, the Knicks. The reality is, Amare Stoudamire is not very interested in winning. Amare Stoudamire is interested in being a celebrity, pounding the cakes of beautiful women, talking out his @$$ and collecting enormous amount of $$$. While that’s not what fans think the goal of a professional athlete should be, we at BSP don’t mind the agenda. The Knicks are where players go who are no longer interested in winning but maintaining an outsized lifestyle.

Are you serious? You think you wouldn’t be interested in pounding cakes, collecting game checks in excess of $250K and making ridiculous statements? Men, you are liars, and sorry, ladies. Your man would be totally corrupt with the NBA lifestyle. I read once where Pat Riley made his players go through three-hour long practices. Oh, how grueling. So what do you do with the other 13 hours a day you are awake? Make ridiculous statements to the media, hit clubs, drink and pound cakes. Especially since the cakes out there are virtually DEMANDING to be pounded.Sorry again, ladies. Some of you want to hook up with a dude who’s slept with hundreds, maybe even thousands of women. Heck, we at BSP mentioned a female vice presidential candidate got down with NBA first round pick Glen Rice when he was in college.



About bittersportspills

I love sports. I don't love the hype, homerism, ratings talk, self-important egomaniacs, bias or any of the other nonsense you get with the national media. Nor will you get the two clowns on sports talk radio who stage phony arguments. It doesn't make it entertaining. It makes it time to turn on your iPod and jam instead of listening to white noise generators. This is the sports blog for you, the ones who don't like everything Los Angeles or New York. Just because the sporting media is based there doesn't mean we have to like their teams. We do treat them fairly, though. That means if one of those cities has an average QB who plays particularly well...we'll note it. If they're garbage, we'll say so. Instead of crying "why, why, why" like a certain sports media homer did in his radio broadcast. This isn't my job...I have a real one. Nevertheless, I'll post here when I make an observation. Common sense in sports is nearly dead. Now we're attempting to bring it back.
This entry was posted in Basketball, Bloviator, Celebrity Wannabe, Money, Smokin' Hot. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s