Earlier on this blog, I discussed my oldest sister’s horrific behavior concerning my mother’s funeral. In case you didn’t see that post, here are the basics:
– My mother passed on August 8th
– My other sister called my oldest sister; she didn’t care whether my mother lived or died
– Saturday August 11th, I called my oldest sister’s husband because she won’t answer the phone. She told me she wouldn’t be attending the funeral but they would send my nephew Robert. She then spoke to the funeral director and gave them her social security number because some money might be coming her way.
– Monday, August 13th, we buried my mother. About an hour before the funeral, I tried calling my oldest sister’s husband, let’s call him “Don”. It went straight to voice mail. So I gave up on them.
At that moment, I’m good. I’m not pissed. She and her family weren’t going to the funeral, said they weren’t going to the funeral so I’m good. Some of my other relatives had wanted to visit their house to “talk to her”, but I said no. I was done with them. At that point, I didn’t care whether I ever heard from them again.
But I did hear from them again, and that’s what got me into combat mode.
Instead of calling me, my oldest sister’s husband called my wife. He asked her when the funeral was. They already knew when the funeral was because my other sister had told them! They were trying to cover their tracks, because other people had heard about my mother’s funeral. My oldest sister then made the mistake of saying she had tried to call me but I had not responded.
That my friends, is a bald-faced lie. My oldest sister hasn’t called me in the year 2012. Period. And she knows it.
So I engaged in a campaign to let them, their friends and neighbors know what losers she and her family members are. The campaign will finish with something special…exposure to the world.
Before the…something special…something told me to look up the term “bipolar.” She had repeatedly displayed wild swings of behavior, even at a Christmas gathering. She would dump all over her husband, and then praise him minutes later. I didn’t pay it much attention; I figured it was just…lets call my sister “KoAnn”…KoAnn the blabbermouth coming out again. She alternates between obnoxious and decent.
I then asked a friend who happens to be a therapist about bipolar disorder. She said they would have to see my sister, but she believes she’s a bad case. Furthermore, the rest of the family has been affected by her behavior to such a degree, they would never admit it and never have her seek help for herself. It’s their “normal.”
So I’m kind of stuck. What do you do with your relative, who is bipolar? What do you do about a family so intimidated, so wrecked by this mentally ill individual? Do you even try to help them? Do you want them to just disappear into nothingness? Her kids have lived with this for 15-25 years. They think her behavior is NORMAL. Sad. None of my other relatives care. They don’t care what happens to her, as long as she doesn’t ask for help.
What do I do? Do I continue the combat action, which I soooo want to do? I sooo want to do that something special, despite its cost. I am more comfortable knowing she’s a nutjob rather than pure evil, but what happens if she’s not koo-koo for Cocoa Puffs? Forget that. Anyone who won’t see their mother’s funeral is a nutjob.
Anyway, its a bad spot. There’s only one person who could help and I don’t know if they will talk to me. We’ll see.