I came in from work last night intent on having a drink and relaxing but my son was watching ESPN Round Table. You know, the super-douches from ESPN like Wilbon, Magic Johnson and the two other guys who spout cliches and suck out loud in an ahole-fest. I went furniture shopping with my wife instead. Yeah, the Round Table SUCKS that hard.
I almost said I prefer political commercials to the ESPN Round Table. Almost. I’ve got to say this, and I promise not to mention it again until it ends.
I received emails this past week from Mitt Romney and Barack Obama. They let me know that the election is coming up and I need to vote…and give them last-second money so they can win. Otherwise human history will come to a halt. Really?
I’ve heard that about 23,825 times from them and their super-douchetastic lemmings in the last month. I just want it to END. I don’t even give a shyte who wins. Just END. Please, please PLEASE end, unending, hateful election! I guess you all forgot: Politics suck, politicians suck and people who love politics especially suck. They don’t just suck in the generic sense. Political junkies give oral gratification to a certain part of the male body in its excited state.
How do you like them apples, political junkie?
EDIT: F**k me to tears, I just saw where Mr. Obama and Mr. Romney are going to get airtime at halftime of Monday Night Football. I couldn’t live without seeing those two YET AGAIN.
Hey, political junkie, I believe Mr. Obama does have a huge advantage in the sports knowledge area. He does care for his teams. The only problem is, those are super-douche Chicago homer Wilbon’s teams. Mr. Romney? I don’t think he gives a shyte. Not like he’s gonna be swilling beer-and-pizza during the game, unless it’s O’Doul’s.
Watching USC and the Oregon Ducks. How do I know the Ducks won’t win a title? They are in a 34-24 game, third quarter and USC is on the Oregon 8-yard line. Make that 1-yard line, PI on Oregon. Make that touchdown, USC dbags. Oregon can’t get a stop. I just wish that super-douche USC fight song would die like Oregon’s chances to win a title would.
It’s now Oregon 41, USC 38.
Flipped to Utah-San Antonio and Spurs homervision. San Antonio is shooting 70% in a 47-28 game. Utah isn’t in San Antonio’s class. Here’s my suspicion: San Antonio isn’t going to win a title this year; I would be very concerned about the health status of Ginobilli, Parker and Duncan. I just don’t think those guys can stay upright through a full season.
I think its amazing the NBA is so filled with hated athletes, Jordan remains their favored pitchman. Jordan in Hanes, Jordan in Gatorade, Jordan in everything. I’m trying to remember the last time I saw Brett Favre trying to sell something. I know Elway pitches something, but nothing with the regularity of Jordan.
Oklahoma State – Kansas State. The game is 24-17, Kansas State with just a bit less than five minutes left in the 2nd quarter. The surprising thing about this game is the back-to-back stops here. What? A Pix-6? It’s now Wildcats 31-17. The Wildcats are the Big 12’s anomaly; the team that can get stops. It’s why they are a threat to play in the title game.
UConn – South Florida: It’s 13-6 in this Big East battle, and I’m unsure of why I’m even watching this. Are you kidding? It’s the most competitive game of the night. Unless you think the 48-38 “battle” between Ore and USC is “competitive.” Anyway, South Florida is going to win this one over UConn.
By the way, Utah’s coach must have lit them up at the half, because they’ve turned a San Antonio blowout into…less of a San Antonio blowout.
Denver – Miami: The Nuggets have crawled to within 1 at Miami. Oh, wait a minute! LB James bricks a jumper. On the other end, Andre Igodala drains a step-back jumper to put Denver up by 1 at Miami, 14.6 seconds left. Unbelievable. Ray Allen hits a 3-pointer and gets a free throw, Denver down by three. The Denver broadcasters are a little critical of the official making the and one call. This guy says “if you don’t get the flop and the foul call by an official who didn’t see it but wants to take care of a guy, you get a two-point game.” Commissioner Stern’s going to have that broadcaster fired, cause he can do that. Why did I even stop at that channel? I forgot: I hate the NBA and their Prestone drinking officials.
Alabama – Louisiana State: A defensive struggle, 7-3 under a minute to the half. On a late drive, McCarron runs for a touchdown, it’s now 14-3 Alabama at the half and its over. I don’t think LSU can score 14 points in eight quarters against the The Tide. I thought it was interesting that Les Myles is 36-1 in night games at Tiger Stadium but they have their hands full tonight. All good things…well, you know. The Tide will be #1 again.