Many of you all want to watch tonight’s Game 2 of the NBA Finals. I’m not, because I 1) can’t stand the thought of David Stern getting rich off me providing for his beloved ratings and 2) I have several better things to do. With that in mind, let me tell you what’s gonna happen:
a) The referees will play a huge role in getting the Heat back into the series. The San Antonio and Miami players will know who’s going to win as soon as the officials come out. As much as you don’t want to believe it, the NBA is likely sending a crew that intensely favors the home team, will get the road team’s star players in foul trouble on touch fouls while letting the home team get away with murder.
It’s always fun watching LeBron knock down players like bowling pins but never get called for charging.
b) San Antonio could bury them with a win tonight, but casual fans would stop tuning into games 3 and 4. The commissioner isn’t going out with his last Finals turning out to be a The Ratings wipe out. From now on, we’re putting The Ratings in caps, like The Lakers and The Finals. This signifies The Ratings as prime targets of anti-douchery campaigns.
c) This won’t happen but Mike Taylor suggested it might be worth it . Someone goes down to court level , the Miami public address announcer and give him a scissors-kick right in the jaw. Dwyannnnnnnnnnne Wade! WTF? STFU, idiot, asshat! If I was in Miami and had a ticket to the game, I’d consider it. Geoff Sheen says its even worse in the arena.
d) Heat by 20. If it’s like Heat by 5 or the Spurs pull out another miracle win, there will be mass panic in the national media.