I’m watching the Jets at Atlanta in one of ESPN’s “We Must show the Jets” games, with Coach Gruden and douchebag Mike Tirico. I know, you all think he’s great but I think he’s nearly as biased as Al Michaels. Hell, you all love him too. Mostly because you are also myopics, adults who own Peyton Manning, Michael Jordan, LeBron James jerseys. Like an adult would pay hundreds of dollars to wear some other dude’s name on your back. A dude who doesn’t give a rat’s arse about you. Yeah, I laughed at you. You deserve it.
Anyway, Atlanta is fouling up, falling short against the Jets and their garbage team. The Jets lead 17-7 at the half, and one of the moments that makes the Falcons the Falcons occurred. On fourth and goal, Atlanta decided to go for it with only a few seconds left in the first half. They didn’t score but got a first down with one second left in the half. Mike Smith calls for a running play. The Falcons hadn’t had any success running the ball in the first half. They get stopped cold, a 14-play drive results in no points and the Jets go into the locker room pumped. I decided to watch DVRed copies of Divorce Court.
In the meantime, I’ve turned back to this game. The Jets lead, 27-21 with 2 minutes left. The Falcons have the ball at the Jets 3 yard line after a bogus PI call. Clean touchdown, Falcons tie the game and with the conversion, they’ll lead by one. They do. Now Geno Smith gets to engineer a 2-minute drill with three time outs.
The Jets have managed to move the ball back down the field to the Atlanta 25 pretty easily. The Jets are on to try a field goal for the win. The 44 yarder from Nick Folk is good. Tirico screams out that ESPN’s Jets have won. Dammit, we’re going to see more boring-ass Jets games on ESPN. Tirico calls it an “incredible story.” What a scroat bag. Wonder what Mike Smith thinks about going for it on fourth down just before the end of the half?
I can’t stand the Jets. I don’t want them to have any success, but I do have to give some credit…Rex Ryan can coach. He can’t win as a head coach but he can get a defense installed and get a team that has no business near the playoffs to near .500.
Atlanta is Atlanta. They fail. Doesn’t matter when, but they will. They get a 17-point lead in a NFC Championship Game, you know the other team is coming back to win. They go to the Super Bowl, the night before the Big Bowl Game, their Man of the Year candidate gets busted for soliciting prostitution. Some NFL teams and players have fail built in and that’s what happens. Atlanta. Cincinnati. Houston. Detroit. They make inexplicable decisions. Someone gets hurt when it matters the most. They make mistakes where they never did before. Players known for being clutch come to those teams and do boneheaded things. Zero titles. It’s what they do.