Shark Tank

Mark Cuban is leaving our list of dbags because of one simple statement on Shark Tank:

“The first 615 times I tried beer, I didn’t like the taste…”

So I wanted to know what beer he had on attempt 616?

Anyway, Shark Tank is a show where prospective entrepreneurs come to pitch their ideas to venture capitalists like Mark Cuban.  He has four others who listen to these ideas and they can bargain with the prospects to either invest in their companies, or tell them where they can … improve. Tonight, they had a couple of gentlemen selling a product, a drink called “Crio.” The product is supposedly good for you and tastes good but none of the Shark Tank panel liked it. After tasting it, three dropped out of prospective bidding. The other two did shortly afterwards.

I like Shark Tank. It shows what entrepreneurs really go through in order to sell themselves. For me, it’s similar to the military, when we presented our ideas to senior leadership.  It’s different than other shows like I suspect the guy from Master Chef (Joe Many of you don’t know that government (i.e., military) ideas start off making sense, and are done on shoestring budgets. Then these ideas end up becoming monstrosities because of other requirements, such as the need to put together tons of documentation, add contractors, and get support from … you guessed it … Congress. By the way, did you know only the Congress has the authority to spend money?

I personally know a guy, a government civilian who invented a product. He kludged it together from spare parts because his organization needed it. After it tested well, he proposed the government try it at different locations. The government took the product to a contractor, because only private industry understands how to do great things for less cost, right? The contractor then added some bullshit to the product, like the ability to withstand a nearby nuclear blast. Then the contractor put on other engineering shit. By this time, the product is like three times its original projected cost. Complete with support that basically handcuffs the government to keeping the product as is no matter what changes and updates come along. It’s got a nice built-in profit for the company, too. The guy has to support the product because the military really needs it. There’s no way he can kludge together more of the products on spare parts.

Your tax dollars at work.

Cuban just undermined his fellow sharks, and bought 25 percent of an event company for $1.75M. He thinks he got a bargain. Meanwhile, Barbara, another shark just bought 40% of a snake oil salesman’s supplement company targeting college students, for $75K. Now there’s an 11-year old selling bow ties — Mo’s Bows, something BSP, a fashion conscious man, would never buy. One of the sharks is going to mentor him, instead of another’s offer of $50K in exchange for a royalty deal … $3 per tie. The first shark stated each time he sold 10,000 ties, Mo would write the shark a check for $30K. That brought it home to the kid and his mom.

Cuban always dumps on San Antonio because the Spurs usually beat his team. He says pretty negative stuff about this city.  Dallas always looks down on San Antonio, despite the fact there’s been a lot more winning done here than up there as of late.  Meaning, the last 20 years or so. Cuban did say he had to play bad guy in the rivalry between the two. He was trying to create  notoriety between the two teams. The only problem is, the Spurs don’t care what Cuban thinks. At all.

Advertisements

About bittersportspills

I love sports. I don't love the hype, homerism, ratings talk, self-important egomaniacs, bias or any of the other nonsense you get with the national media. Nor will you get the two clowns on sports talk radio who stage phony arguments. It doesn't make it entertaining. It makes it time to turn on your iPod and jam instead of listening to white noise generators. This is the sports blog for you, the ones who don't like everything Los Angeles or New York. Just because the sporting media is based there doesn't mean we have to like their teams. We do treat them fairly, though. That means if one of those cities has an average QB who plays particularly well...we'll note it. If they're garbage, we'll say so. Instead of crying "why, why, why" like a certain sports media homer did in his radio broadcast. This isn't my job...I have a real one. Nevertheless, I'll post here when I make an observation. Common sense in sports is nearly dead. Now we're attempting to bring it back.
This entry was posted in Basketball, Celebrity Wannabe, Douchetastic, Entertainment, Haterade, Money and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s